Courage

I have a lot of fond memories of my time as a teacher, but there was one particular moment, when I was especially proud of my students and their courage. The whole class had decided to confront me about something, they had been witnessing for a few weeks.

Back then I was still teaching German as a foreign language as well as how to read and write. My students were teenagers and adults alike, from different backgrounds and cultures. Some of them a lot older than me, retiring soon, others could have been my own kids. 

One morning, after I had greeted my students, put my coffee mug ceremoniously on my desk – it usually made my students laugh – and was about to begin the lesson, one of the men put his hand up. He seemed nervous. There was tension in the room. I asked him to speak and he said, “Mrs. Otti, this cannot go on like this. We have to speak to your husband. At once.” I was confused and replied, “I am not married.” “Then we have to speak to your boyfriend. This cannot go on like this. We won’t just watch this happening anymore.” Now I was completely confused and said, “I don’t have a boyfriend. I live alone. What is this about?” 
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(c) 2023 Tim Dornaus

The man and a few of the women got up and pointed at my hands and underarms that had bruises all over them. “We will not allow anyone to hurt you like this! This will stop!”

​I took a look at my hands and arms and for the first time I looked at them like someone who did not know my personal background. Indeed. I looked like a woman who had been beaten badly and who had experienced violence. I looked up and met the eyes of each and every single one of my students. Eyes full of experiences. Experiences no-one should ever have to make. 

I smiled at my students and said, “Thank you, every single one of you. I think I need to explain something to you. I play floorball. Floorball is like ice hockey, but we don’t play at a rink, so there is no ice. I play for a team here in Vienna, it is called WFV. We play in the highest league in Austria, the Bundesliga. I am a goaltender. Whenever an opposing player takes a shot at our goal, it is my duty to defend the goal and make a save. I use my hands and arms for that and put my whole body between the opponent and our goal. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we have our team practices, on the weekends we have our games. That is why I have fresh bruises on Wednesdays and Fridays and after matches. No goaltender leaves a training session or a match without injuries. After practice or a game I walk home with fresh bruises. It is part of my task on the team. The shots are hard. What’s more, I wear a jersey with short sleeves which is unusual for a goaltender. Why? Long-sleeved protective gear just gets unbearably hot.”
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"White Lioness", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

"Courage is not the absence of fear but the presence of heart."

​I pointed at my bruises, one after the other, “This ball did not find its way behind me into our net. Not in our net. Not in. Saved. The ones that hurt are the ones you cannot see on my skin, for those shots have found their way into our goal.” 
 
At first, they seemed skeptical, but then some of the men lit up and said, “Like a soccer goalie!”

I had team training that day, so I had my goalie gear in my office. I asked my students, if they wanted to take a look at it. Of course. The lesson turned into a discussion about competitive sports. One student revealed that she was a swimmer and had participated in world championships and another student had played as a professional soccer player in his home country before the war had started. I invited all of my students to our game the following weekend. 
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"White Lion", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

When the lesson had ended, my students wanted to apologize to me. I interrupted them and said, “Never ever apologize for asking someone, where his or her bruises and injuries come from. Never ever. You don’t know, what the man, woman or child in front of you has experienced. Your words can change a life. Look and see, what is there. Speak up. Listen. Every single one of you has given me a great gift today. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for having the courage to speak up.”
 
Dare to see. Dare to speak. Dare to listen.

​Dare to be the difference.