A New World Awaits with Open Arms

A few years back, when I was still working in the corporate world, trying to find my path amidst the chaos of being uprooted and facing adversity, I was called onto a journey. I found myself following a sandy mountain trail, walking side by side with a white gorilla whose gentle eyes were soothing the emotions raging in my mind. 
 
After a time of walking in silence and enjoying the songs of the mountains around us, we reached a wall made of solid rock, a steep cliff, blocking the path. Moving forward would mean to climb the cliff that was towering over us. The gentle gorilla looked at me and said with a smile, “Follow me.” He began climbing the cliff with ease, not looking back at me, but simply being one with the rock and in the moment with every step he was taking. He reached the top of the cliff, sat down and I felt his gaze upon me. 
 
I hesitated and began fidgeting. At that point in time, I was afraid of heights, I did not even like to climb on ladders, the first rung being fine, the second rung being a challenge and the third one feeling like Mount Everest. I touched the rock wall in front of me and after swallowing, shaking my head and going through the motions, I started climbing. I did not like it one bit.

After a while I reached a point, where I could not climb on following a straight path, because the rock was crumbling beneath my fingers. I knew that I had to climb down again for a bit and simply take another route. But looking down meant becoming aware of the heights I had reached and letting my mind have a ball with all of the different ways I could possibly fall to my demise. I looked up, straight into the white gorilla’s face. He was still smiling his gentle smile. I took a deep breath. Instead of looking down I took a look to the right. There was a small crack in the rock. I had not noticed it before.

​I set my focus fully on the rock wall, sensing and feeling the stone, the nooks and crannies and its rough surface and it turned into a game. 

"White Gorilla", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

The gorilla made an inviting gesture with his left arm, “A whole new world is waiting for you with open arms.”

​I went up and down again, left then right, then up again and down, not my mind leading the way, but my heart. And then – all of a sudden – I had reached the top of the cliff. I was in complete disbelief.
 
The white gorilla smiled gently at me and said, “Look!” I looked up and saw a vast, lush green valley stretching out before our eyes, the sun rising in the distance bathing it in golden light. The gorilla made an inviting gesture with his left arm, “A whole new world is waiting for you with open arms.”
 
I sat down next to the gorilla elder, calmness filling me, and we watched the sunrise, at peace, enjoying the moment. 
 
A few months after my journey I noticed something. My fear of heights was gone. It hit me, when I was standing on top of a shaky ladder cleaning the windows looking down on the streets of Vienna.