Category: English

Peacock Wisdom

4/16/2024

The peacock is a great companion and teacher. It is not afraid of being itself and showing its true colors. It is standing tall and proud, its feathers glistening in the sunlight, showing its talents and gifts openly for everyone to see. Its inner light is emanating from its heart, nothing is hidden away. The Peacock teaches us to show our true colors, to shine and be ourselves, for standing in our power and shining our light has nothing to do with being arrogant but everything to do with daring to be the unique gift we are.

The peacock was asked to guard this realm and protect the peace. Nothing goes by its eyes; it finds the viper among a thousand snakes and calls it out. There is no place in his heart for lies and deceit, it is incorruptible and will keep those under its protection from harm.

It sees true beauty in every being and everything. Like a swan it has grown into its precious colorful feathers after a long time of learning and experienced and seen the beauty and uniqueness of the beings around it before the sunlight has touched its own beautiful feathers for the first time.

It has gotten to know its inner strength and power by taking one step after the other on its path and thus it knows, that whatever is needed to achieve its dream, is already inside its heart and growing and will see the light of day at the right moment in time.

The peacock does not hide, it shows its true colors. It has never learned to sing, a songbird it is not. It has no heart for shallow and fake compliments and flattery does not stop it from speaking its truth. It knows, when it is time to speak up. It does not mask its words; it speaks with a loud and clear voice.

"White Peacock Thinking", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

It sees through a thousand eyes, what was, what is and all the paths that lead into tomorrow. The Peacock knows its past lives and can see through any falsehood and deception. It sees true and is able to mend the eyes of those, that have seen, what they should not have had to see, so they can see the beauty of the world around them once more.

The peacock was asked to guard this realm and protect the peace. Nothing goes by its eyes; it finds the viper among a thousand snakes and calls it out. There is no place in his heart for lies and deceit, it is incorruptible and will keep those under its protection from harm.

"White Peacock", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

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A New World Awaits with Open Arms

4/9/2024

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A few years back, when I was still working in the corporate world, trying to find my path amidst the chaos of being uprooted and facing adversity, I was called onto a journey. I found myself following a sandy mountain trail, walking side by side with a white gorilla whose gentle eyes were soothing the emotions raging in my mind.

After a time of walking in silence and enjoying the songs of the mountains around us, we reached a wall made of solid rock, a steep cliff, blocking the path. Moving forward would mean to climb the cliff that was towering over us. The gentle gorilla looked at me and said with a smile, “Follow me.” He began climbing the cliff with ease, not looking back at me, but simply being one with the rock and in the moment with every step he was taking. He reached the top of the cliff, sat down and I felt his gaze upon me.

I hesitated and began fidgeting. At that point in time, I was afraid of heights, I did not even like to climb on ladders, the first rung being fine, the second rung being a challenge and the third one feeling like Mount Everest. I touched the rock wall in front of me and after swallowing, shaking my head and going through the motions, I started climbing. I did not like it one bit.

After a while I reached a point, where I could not climb on following a straight path, because the rock was crumbling beneath my fingers. I knew that I had to climb down again for a bit and simply take another route. But looking down meant becoming aware of the heights I had reached and letting my mind have a ball with all of the different ways I could possibly fall to my demise. I looked up, straight into the white gorilla’s face. He was still smiling his gentle smile. I took a deep breath. Instead of looking down I took a look to the right. There was a small crack in the rock. I had not noticed it before.

I set my focus fully on the rock wall, sensing and feeling the stone, the nooks and crannies and its rough surface and it turned into a game.

"White Gorilla", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

The gorilla made an inviting gesture with his left arm, “A whole new world is waiting for you with open arms.”

I went up and down again, left then right, then up again and down, not my mind leading the way, but my heart. And then – all of a sudden – I had reached the top of the cliff. I was in complete disbelief.

The white gorilla smiled gently at me and said, “Look!” I looked up and saw a vast, lush green valley stretching out before our eyes, the sun rising in the distance bathing it in golden light. The gorilla made an inviting gesture with his left arm, “A whole new world is waiting for you with open arms.”

I sat down next to the gorilla elder, calmness filling me, and we watched the sunrise, at peace, enjoying the moment.

A few months after my journey I noticed something. My fear of heights was gone. It hit me, when I was standing on top of a shaky ladder cleaning the windows looking down on the streets of Vienna.

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We Are One - A Water Ceremony Vision

4/8/2024

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Anja, Julia and I had felt the call to hold a water ceremony on World Water Day, March 22nd 2024. We met beforehand, planning not only a ceremony to honor the waters, but also a gathering of storytellers. While getting to know each other and building trust, a circle came into being and went into ceremony on Water Day, heart-to-heart.

I opened space and lit my fire, opening my heart. “Calm your mind”, a gentle voice whispered. I became still, one with the ocean, the waters. Time and space ceased to exist. I was called back into the here and now after a while and saw, that Julia had taken her seat in the circle, calmly and gently. A message was to be given. Julia had been invited to journey deep into the sea. Anja had arrived, equally calmly and gently taken her seat in the circle and a message was to be given: “Great Grandmother Ocean wants to speak to you.” We became still again, sitting together in silence, one with the waters again. I found myself swimming alongside a gentle blue whale elder.

I saw compassion, gentle hands, caressing, loving, embracing, and Father Sun called the tears of joy into the sky. The tears became the rain, healing and mending Mother Earth, healing and mending our hearts with love unconditional. For we are one.

“We are the Ocean, for we are one. The Ocean is us, for we are one. We are the waters. We are the clouds. We are the rain. Father Sun calls the waters into the sky, so they can return to Mother Earth, nourishing her, healing and cleansing her, thus nourishing us, cleansing us, healing us, for we are one.”

I saw a battlefield, a sea of blood and Father Sun called the blood into the sky. The blood became the rain, nourishing Mother Earth, nourishing us with blood spilt and cries of pain. For we are one.

"White Whale Diving", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

I saw violence, a hand inflicting pain, and Father Sun called the tears into the sky. The tears became the rain, nourishing Mother Earth, nourishing us with screams of pain. For we are one.

"White Whale", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

I saw compassion, gentle hands, caressing, loving, embracing, and Father Sun called the tears of joy into the sky. The tears became the rain, healing and mending Mother Earth, healing and mending our hearts with love unconditional. For we are one.

We are one.

We are the boon.

We are the bane.

We are the heart.

We are the mind.

We are the soul.

We are the spirit.

We are one.

We swam out into the ocean of stars and I saw a giant tear drop slowly falling down on Mother Earth. “This tear is of our creation.” I saw floods of times past, the raging waters of our own creation. “This tear is of our own creation. It is us. For we are one.”

We are the laughter.

We are the pain.

We are the healing.

We are the storm.

We are the flood.

We are the medicine.

We are one.

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The Weight of a Snowflake

3/13/2024

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The Weight of a Snowflake
A Traditional Story Retold

A long, long time ago, on a cold winter’s day, when Sister Wind was dancing merrily over the snowy meadows, a little fox and a small badger were playing together on a clearing in a snow-covered forest, trying to catch the snowflakes that were falling from the sky.

The little fox who was watching the glittering snowflakes in awe asked the badger, “Do you by any chance know, how much a snowflake weighs?” “Oh, not much at all! See? They land on my fur and do not weigh me down at all! I can still run around and play!”

"White Badger Dreaming", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

A wise old owl who had been watching the two youngsters playing in the snow said, “My young friends, let me tell you a story.”

The fox and the badger sat down and looked up at the owl who was sitting high up in the trees.

"White Reynard", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

“Sometimes we think that all our efforts are in vain and our voice will not make a difference, but if we work together and put our unique gifts to good use, many a great thing is possible.”

“Once upon a time, on a cold winter’s day just like this, not long after I had hatched and was still considered a spring chicken, I was sitting on the branch of a mighty tree. Snow began to fall and I was astounded to see that no snowflake was like the other and since I wanted to know, how many unique snowflakes there were, I started counting them as they were landing on the branch. One, two, three, thirty-seven, three hundred nine, eleven thousand fifty-six, two hundred thousand sixty-four and then another snowflake weighing nothing landed on the branch and all of a sudden it broke - mighty or not.”

“Whoa!”, the two youngsters exclaimed. The old owl continued, “Sometimes we think that all our efforts are in vain and our voice will not make a difference, but if we work together and put our unique gifts to good use, many a great thing is possible.”

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Courage

2/23/2024

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I have a lot of fond memories of my time as a teacher, but there was one particular moment, when I was especially proud of my students and their courage. The whole class had decided to confront me about something, they had been witnessing for a few weeks.

Back then I was still teaching German as a foreign language as well as how to read and write. My students were teenagers and adults alike, from different backgrounds and cultures. Some of them a lot older than me, retiring soon, others could have been my own kids.

One morning, after I had greeted my students, put my coffee mug ceremoniously on my desk – it usually made my students laugh – and was about to begin the lesson, one of the men put his hand up. He seemed nervous. There was tension in the room. I asked him to speak and he said, “Mrs. Otti, this cannot go on like this. We have to speak to your husband. At once.” I was confused and replied, “I am not married.” “Then we have to speak to your boyfriend. This cannot go on like this. We won’t just watch this happening anymore.” Now I was completely confused and said, “I don’t have a boyfriend. I live alone. What is this about?”

The man and a few of the women got up and pointed at my hands and underarms that had bruises all over them. “We will not allow anyone to hurt you like this! This will stop!”

I took a look at my hands and arms and for the first time I looked at them like someone who did not know my personal background. Indeed. I looked like a woman who had been beaten badly and who had experienced violence. I looked up and met the eyes of each and every single one of my students. Eyes full of experiences. Experiences no-one should ever have to make.

I smiled at my students and said, “Thank you, every single one of you. I think I need to explain something to you. I play floorball. Floorball is like ice hockey, but we don’t play at a rink, so there is no ice. I play for a team here in Vienna, it is called WFV. We play in the highest league in Austria, the Bundesliga. I am a goaltender. Whenever an opposing player takes a shot at our goal, it is my duty to defend the goal and make a save. I use my hands and arms for that and put my whole body between the opponent and our goal. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, we have our team practices, on the weekends we have our games. That is why I have fresh bruises on Wednesdays and Fridays and after matches. No goaltender leaves a training session or a match without injuries. After practice or a game I walk home with fresh bruises. It is part of my task on the team. The shots are hard. What’s more, I wear a jersey with short sleeves which is unusual for a goaltender. Why? Long-sleeved protective gear just gets unbearably hot.”

"White Lioness", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

"Courage is not the absence of fear but the presence of heart."

I pointed at my bruises, one after the other, “This ball did not find its way behind me into our net. Not in our net. Not in. Saved. The ones that hurt are the ones you cannot see on my skin, for those shots have found their way into our goal.”

At first, they seemed skeptical, but then some of the men lit up and said, “Like a soccer goalie!”

I had team training that day, so I had my goalie gear in my office. I asked my students, if they wanted to take a look at it. Of course. The lesson turned into a discussion about competitive sports. One student revealed that she was a swimmer and had participated in world championships and another student had played as a professional soccer player in his home country before the war had started. I invited all of my students to our game the following weekend.

"White Lion", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

When the lesson had ended, my students wanted to apologize to me. I interrupted them and said, “Never ever apologize for asking someone, where his or her bruises and injuries come from. Never ever. You don’t know, what the man, woman or child in front of you has experienced. Your words can change a life. Look and see, what is there. Speak up. Listen. Every single one of you has given me a great gift today. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for having the courage to speak up.”

Dare to see. Dare to speak. Dare to listen.

Dare to be the difference.

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Circles

1/28/2024

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Circles bear a powerful meaning. They have no beginning and no end. Time is of no significance to them for they are everlasting, growing bigger and smaller as needed and every end is a new beginning at the same time.

Everything you do and give out, returns to you in one way, shape or another, for every deed is the beginning of a circle and it will return to you at one point on your path, so you are able to understand and learn the lesson behind it. The joy you brought, the pain you caused.

"White Crystal Heart", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

When you are gathering and sitting in a circle, you are able to see each other clearly, no lie can be spoken, no word uttered behind your back. No-one is able to belittle you or dim your light.

You look into each other’s eyes and you know the soul. The song of your heart can be heard loud and clear, when it is your turn to speak. And when it is your turn to listen, you will hear the songs of the other hearts, recognizing their beauty and uniqueness, the gift they bring.

A lot of my learning takes place on the other side of things, beyond the material world, behind the veils. I am often called to go on journeys and travel through the spirit realms. Each encounter with other beings bears a gift of learning, some are trials during which you get to know a part of yourself that was hidden from you until that point on your path or you yourself buried deep inside in your shadows.

Wasp is the guardian and protector of sacred circles. "White Wasp", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

Shortly after receiving the gift of meeting Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq and Gayle Crosmaz during a weekend ceremony about new beginnings amidst chaos in Salzburg, and listening to Angaangaq telling us about the meaning and the power and strength of circles, I was called on another journey.

The Eldest said: “A circle is always as big as needed or as small as necessary, it can grow as need be. There is no need to take anyone’s seat by force or violence, take one away in anger or steal one in jealousy.”

I found myself in a Native American settlement. I had been there many times before. It is the place where the council of shamans gathers. It is what I call them. There are shamans who are pure light. Some of them I know, some of them are incarnated right now, others observe, dream and teach in the spirit realms.

When I arrived, I was greeted by the eldest shaman, who smiled at me and put his left hand on my right shoulder. He said: “Look, there is an empty seat. The one it belongs to, is not here. Take it!” I took a look around at the other shamans that were sitting in a circle and got confused. I looked at the opening in the circle and said: “No, it is not my seat to take, it belongs to someone else.” Then I realized whose seat is it was. The shaman’s who I had met in the material realm many times and whom I had met in his light form in this settlement just as often. The Eldest said: “He hurt you and is no longer here. He has lost his way. Take his seat.” I refused again. “This is his seat, no matter what did happen or did not happen.”

I took a step away from the Eldest and created a crystal of pure light. I placed it in front of the empty seat and said: “This is a crystal of light, a beacon. It will guide him home to his seat. It is not mine to take but his to return to.” Then I took a step back. The moment I had taken the step back, the shaman appeared in his light form, took his seat and smiled at me. I nodded at him, then I turned around to face the Eldest.

He placed both his hands on my shoulders, looked me in the eye and smiled. Then the circle of shamans grew bigger and suddenly there was an empty space. The Eldest said: “A circle is always as big as needed or as small as necessary, it can grow as need be. There is no need to take anyone’s seat by force or violence, take one away in anger or steal one in jealousy.” He pointed at the new seat. “This is yours. Take it.”

And I did.

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I am who I am

1/25/2024

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When I returned to work after a lengthy battle for health, I was challenged time after time to shed my skin, let go of the old and grow a new set of scales, only for my skin to get too tight again. I would be called to go on journeys beyond the veils from time to time and I enjoyed them immensely. There were lessons to be learned and sometimes the lessons came with a lot of good-hearted humor.

One day a beautiful skunk strolled into my energy field and asked me, if I wanted to go for a walk together with her. Her energy was inviting and friendly and she wore a red flower on her head. So naturally, I said yes.

Since I enjoyed shapeshifting immensely at that time and it would be good training, I decided to shapeshift into a skunk as well. At that time, gravity was still conditioned into my mind and since I am a perfectionist Capricorn, the process of shapeshifting back then was more like reading a chapter out of a biology book describing every little detail. My skunk friend was watching me patiently while I was shapeshifting. I started at the wrong end and gravity had its say. Like I said, if you have gravity on your mind, gravity will remind you of its existence.

The skunk was smiling gently, while I was getting the dust out of my fresh coat of fur and then we set of. We ran through the woods, played tag under the trees, jumped over roots and simply enjoyed our time together. Then we came to a clearing. My skunk friend stopped on the edge of the clearing and smiled at me. There was a shaman dancing in the middle of the clearing. He wore a skunk pelt on his head and nothing else. He seemed perfectly happy, enjoying the moment with a serene smile on his face. I looked at my skunk friend, then back at the shaman and back at my skunk friend again. “You are perfectly fine with this.” She kept on smiling her gentle smile, nodded and said, “Yes.” Then she slightly touched the flower on her head and started dancing, too.

Be who you are.
Therein lies your power.

A few days later I was on my way to buy some groceries. While I was walking, I was thinking about the various opinions, others had about me, and I finally reached the point at which I said to myself, “The opinions of others are none of my business. I am who I am.” When I looked up, I saw the same shaman in my energy field in front of me, skunk pelt on his head and nothing else. He winked at me and then he continued dancing having the time of his life.

"White Eastern Spotted Skunk", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

A few weeks after that, one of my colleagues gifted me a special hat for my birthday. I love good-hearted humour and the five of us, that shared an office space at that time, were a tight knit group. I had also been elected to serve on the works council a year prior to that and was growing into my new role, learning to speak on behalf of my colleagues, attending meetings and discussing issues concerning employment law. Since the company was quite big, the works council was as well, having 28 members.

"White Skunk", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

While I was walking, I was thinking about the various opinions, others had about me, and I finally reached the point at which I said to myself, “The opinions of others are none of my business. I am who I am.”

When I wanted to get a fresh cup of coffee, my colleagues insisted upon me wearing my new hat on the way to the kitchen and back. I accepted the challenge after some tongue-in-cheek back and forth. Since we had taken a break, while the lessons were in full swing and the chance of meeting anyone in one of the hallways were slim to none, wearing that hat – a giant plush chicken with incredibly long legs and a bright red tail – would not be a problem. If – by chance – one of my students saw me, no problem either, they were familiar with my sense of humour.

Yes, that is me, wearing a plush chicken on my head.

I went out of the office, took a few steps and of course, the moment you decide to walk through the company you are working for with a gigantic plush chicken on your head, you will run into your superior. It is a law of nature. He looked at me, his eyes grew big, his mouth fell open and I was faced with a decision. Instead of taking the hat off and mumbling an apology, I looked him deep in the eyes and said, “I know. I can wear anything and it simply suits me.” Then I took one of the plush chicken legs and flung it back like you would fling back long hair, slowly strutted past him and went around the corner to the kitchen. When I opened the kitchen door, I heard him burst into laughter. It was the first time I had heard him laugh in months.

At a later point of time, when we were joking about it during a meeting, I suggested asking HR, if we could use the picture with the plush chicken hat as my new official company headshot. Two days after that, he called me into his office, looking very serious. “I have bad news.” He sighed and shook his head. “HR has declined your request.” I just stared at him for a moment. “That is truly unfortunate.” Then we burst into laughter.

Be who you are. Therein lies your power.

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Journey into the Unknown

1/23/2024

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Do you know what it feels like, when you are going to a party and everyone around you knows your name, who you are, your past, your time together and starts telling you about it, cracking inside jokes, patting you on your back and then taking their leave with a serene smile? Everyone knows, who you are, what your purpose is and what you are capable of. With one exception. You. That is how I feel at times.

“I am the White Crow.” That is what I told a being I encountered on one of my very first journeys beyond the veils a long, long time ago. The words came out of my mouth and I knew them to be true, as did the being in front of me. She seemed pleased and happy, we had a nice chat and then parted ways. Before that I had already shapeshifted into a crow without thinking, when a murder of crows had called me to journey with them through the veils and it had felt completely and utterly normal.

When I met a healer and shaman, my mother knew and whom I had wanted to talk to to understand, what was going on with me, he asked me, what my name was. I replied “I am the White Crow.” without giving it a second thought. He stared at me. I looked back at him and after a while I said, “Oh, my name is Kristin.” He kept staring and eventually he said, “Uh-huh.” Still staring.

"Eagle Reborn", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

Then, one day, out of nowhere, a Native American medicine man and shaman appeared right in front of me in my energy field. Since I had never had that happen before until that point of time, I was completely taken by surprise. He seemed familiar. He came towards me, smiling broadly. “You have decided to come back here once more! Fantastic!” I looked at him and the only thing that came out of my mouth was, “Yes?” I had no clue what he was talking about. “That’s fantastic! You are back!” I kept staring at him. “When are you coming over?” “Coming over?” “To visit us!” “I don’t have the resources right now.” He waved his hand dismissively as if that was the most insignificant of problems. “Resources don’t matter at all. Tell me, what is your name?” “I am the White Crow.” “Yes, of course! That is who you are and that is who you have always been. Who else would you be? No, what is your name?” I kept staring at him. “Your name. This lifetime. What is your name this lifetime?” “Kristin.” He was all smiles. He clapped his hands in complete happiness and then he left.

I remained standing there completely confused about two things: He obviously knew, who I was, while I didn’t have a clue and he had been genuinely happy to see me. Since the connection had not been broken, I saw him in the distance, talking to another shaman. “He is back!” The other shaman shook his head and said: “Impossible!” “Yes! He is back. A woman this time!” Then the other man looked up and saw me.

His eyes grew big and he flashed me a smile. Then a past life memory hit me: We had known each other as boys. We were of the Haida people. One day we had decided that we wanted to eat some honey. Unfortunately, we did not simply ask the bees for the honey, which they would have given us without hesitation, no, we came up with the brilliant idea to use sticks to bang on the beehives. My grandfather, who was a shaman and medicine man, had used the occasion to give me a thorough lesson in how to treat bee stings afterwards.

"White Crow", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

For whatever reason it had never crossed my mind to research the meaning of the name “White Crow” thoroughly or to read up on mythology. For me it was just another part of not knowing, what I was, having no mentor or teacher to explain anything to me. The feeling of “Tag! You are it!” without actually knowing which game I was getting involved in had filled my thoughts.

Do you know what it feels like, when you are going to a party and everyone around you knows your name, who you are, your past, your time together and starts telling you about it, cracking inside jokes, patting you on your back and then taking their leave with a serene smile? Everyone knows, who you are, what your purpose is and what you are capable of. With one exception. You. That is how I feel at times.

Then I received a great gift. I met Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq and Gayle Crosmaz during a weekend ceremony in Salzburg. When Gayle and I were talking, I told her that I am the White Crow and she told me that her name was White Raven. Then she told me that she had been given the name Allaq by Angaangaq and that it meant Black Bear. During the ceremony Angaangaq answered a question about spiritual names and their meaning. That got me very interested, so I started researching Black Bear and Raven in Ojibwe mythology and found the story about Crow. I read it and understood something profound about myself. I have always been looking for my place in life, learning whatever possible, just to get bored with it, when I was finished, and then I would crave new learning. The moment I understood a subject, I wanted to learn something new. The funny thing was, that – even when I myself was unable to find my place or purpose – I could help others by sharing my experiences and what I had learned on my way. I have worked as a teacher for about sixteen years, teaching kids, teenagers and adults and what I loved most about it, was watching my students blossom and bloom, gaining confidence in themselves and their personal power.

In the Ojibwe story Crow is searching for his purpose. Because he was not patient enough to wait for the return of the Great One, who had been called away, the Great One could not tell him what his purpose was. As a result, Crow thinks that he has none. He is learning from all of creation, never finding satisfaction in life or his purpose, flying around restlessly until he starts giving advice to the beings he encounters. All he has learned on his journeys, turns into wisdom and his words guide others to their purpose or help them renew it. Unknowingly he has found his. While reading the story I understood a part of myself and my essence. I always thought I had no purpose and I was asking myself why I could not find my place in life. I am happiest, when I can assist and guide others, help them rekindle their inner fire and take their personal power back and I myself am allowed to learn new things. In Salzburg I spoke it out loud for the very first time: Being a healer and shaman is the work I want to do and I love to do: I have found my path and I love it. Every aspect of it.

Aandeg the Crow
A Story Told by the Ojibwe

When the Great One, Gichi-manidoo, was creating the flying ones, every single one of them was given great purpose. “Migizi, you will be the peoples’ messenger of prayers and thanks!”, he told the Eagle, then he created Hawk and told him, “Gekek, you are to be the messenger of the peoples’ needs and good medicine!” Gichi-manidoo then called Loon into being and said, “Maang, you are going to be the teacher of love and relationships!” The Great one created Crow and said, “Aandeg, you are… Oh, I am needed elsewhere for a moment. Be patient and wait for me. I will be right back.” Aandeg the Crow nodded, but soon he got bored and started preening his feathers. “Well, hello? Great One?” He took a look around. “Is anyone out there? Could anyone tell me, what I am supposed to do? Hello?” He cawed impatiently. “I will find out myself. Whom to ask? Oh yes, I will ask Makwa the Bear.”

"White Jumping Squirrel", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

Aandeg took off and flew to Makwa the Bear’s cave. “Boozhoo, Makwa! It’s me Aaandeg!” “Boozhoo, Aandeg, nice to see you!” “Makwa, I don’t know what I am supposed to do, the Great One did not tell me. Would you teach me your ways so I can be of help to others?” Makwa said, “Yes, I will show you how to find the right herbs and plants, so you can cure any illness, I will teach you how to fish and then I will show you how to survive the cold winter days.” Aaandeg was a great student and learned everything Makwa told him about, but when winter came and the first snow had fallen, he said, “Sleeping through winter is not what I want to do, there is so much to learn out there! This is not my way! Thank you, Makwa! See you in spring!” He flew away. He learned from Beaver, asked Loon to teach him his ways, sought out Wolf as his mentor, walked with Turtle until he grew impatient once more and asked Coyote for advice. But all their teachings didn’t fit with him. He learned from all of creation, but still he could not find his purpose and was not satisfied with his life.

Then one day, he heard someone crying in the woods. It was Ajidamoo the Squirrel. Ajidamoo was sitting on an oak tree. He looked very weak and sad. “Aaniin, Ajidamoo! What’s the matter? What is troubling your heart?” Ajidamoo looked at Aandeg and said, “Aaniin, Aandeg! I don’t know what to do, my heart feels completely empty and drained!” Aandeg cawed, “You know what, Makwa will know what to do! He is the greatest of healers. We will ask him. And then we will visit Mikinaak the Turtle. He knows all about taking it slow and being patient!” Makwa and Ajidamoo had a great healing ceremony and Mikinaak told the squirrel all about patience and moving slowly. Soon the squirrel felt healed and balanced again and could return to his purpose with fresh spirit. Aandeg said, “That felt great! Let’s see, where to go now… There is so much to learn. Oh, what now? Who is crying now?”

"Be patient and wait for me. I will be right back.” Aandeg the Crow nodded, but soon he got bored and started preening his feathers. “Well, hello? Great One?” He took a look around. “Is anyone out there? Could anyone tell me, what I am supposed to do? Hello?” He cawed impatiently. “I will find out myself."

Since the Crow was always curious about such things, he went to investigate and found Waabooz the Rabbit crying in front of her burrow. “Boozhoo, old friend, what is troubling your heart?” “Oh, I just cannot take it anymore! I just want to be done with it and die!” “But why?” Waabooz the Rabbit started complaining about Waagosh the Fox and told Aandeg that there was simply no peace with Waagosh around. The crow listened carefully to everything his rabbit friend had to say and then advised him to make good use of his long legs and long ears, “Waabooz, you can listen very well and you can easily tell, when Waagosh is nearby! And look at those long and strong legs of yours! You can outrun him anytime!” Waabooz was taken by surprise and answered, “You are right! I can and you know what? I feel pretty good about it, too! Thanks, Aandeg!”

From that day, Aandeg kept travelling throughout the lands and made friends with all of creation, finding his purpose in helping others to either find their purpose or return to it with fresh spirit.

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The Crown

1/18/2024

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One of my very first journeys beyond the veils led me into a desert, following the call of a vulture. I was walking through the dunes under a clear blue sky and the blazing sun until I reached a tomb. It looked like a temple, some of the pillars had fallen. It was ancient. The stairs that led up to the entrance looked worn. Someone was waiting for me at the top of them. I climbed the stairs and found myself facing an old king. He wore a crown that looked dull, his skin and flesh were dry and torn, yellowed bones visible and what was left of his garments was torn and grey. I felt no darkness surrounding him, but I could sense how tired he was.

“Follow me.” He entered the tomb and I went after him. He led me into a chamber full of crowns. There were thousands. Some were made of gold, adorned with emeralds and rubies, others were made of silver and there were crowns, that were made of metals and materials I had never seen or felt before.
“Take one of the crowns.” I refused. “Take one. It is yours.” “No, absolutely not.” He looked sternly at me and commanded, “Take a crown. Choose one that is to your liking. It is yours.” “No, I will not take any of the crowns. They belong to others, bearing witness to their merits and achievements. I will not make the merits or achievements of someone else my own and pretend to be the one who is wearing the crown that was given to them, as if I deserved to wear it. If at all, I will look at the crowns and learn from them. Learn, from what they who received them as token of their leadership did on their path. But never ever will I make someone else’s crown mine.”

"White Vulture", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

I was getting angry and my anger filled the air. He looked straight into my eyes and said, “Take one of the crowns.” I stared back into his eyes and said, “I am already wearing a crown. I will not take anyone else’s. I have my own. It is in me.” The moment I had said it, a circlet of wood grew out of my body and laid itself around my head. It was incredibly beautiful. I knew that it was made of wood, but it did not know which kind. I had never seen or felt that energy before, but it felt warm and alive. There were no signs on it, no precious metals or gems, yet it was the most beautiful circlet I had ever seen. The old king looked at me and smiled. We left the tomb and said our goodbyes.

Then things started happening on our plane of existence and I was cast into darkness. I had come up with the idea for a project and built it together with others, only to have it taken away from us and others claiming our work as their own. I would not have it and kept walking my path, shedding light on who had really worked on the project and who had not lifted a finger. I was given the gift of being allowed to look deep into my own shadows and the gift of choice of keeping on walking the old path or setting out on a new path. Amidst the chaos, I was called into the desert beyond the veils again.

“Take a crown.” “I have already told you before, I will not take, what belongs to someone else.” “Take a crown.” The anger in me became a roaring blaze, but I did not lash out. Then calmness filled me and I looked him in the eye. “I do not need someone else’s crown. I am enough.”

I was journeying through the sands again, there was a lone vulture circling the sky and after a while I reached the tomb. It looked even more ancient to me now. The old king was waiting for me at the entrance. We greeted each other and I followed him into the tomb. He led me into the crown-filled room again. I looked at him and I felt anger creeping up inside me. “Take a crown.”

"White Bearded Vulture", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

“I have already told you before, I will not take, what belongs to someone else.” “Take a crown.” The anger in me became a roaring blaze, but I did not lash out. Then calmness filled me and I looked him in the eye. “I do not need someone else’s crown. I am enough.” He broke into a smile, then a green crystal formed in his hands. The energy emanating from it felt warm. I had never seen a crystal like that before. He placed it in my forehead and it became one with me. “This is a gift. It is for you. You are not yet able to understand, what it means and what it is about. You will in time.” I thanked him and a shy smile crossed my face. “Come.”

We left the tomb and when we reached the stairs that led back down into the desert sands he turned to face me once more. His body began to change. Life flooded back into his being, where his flesh and skin had been dried up and torn, it started mending and healing. His garments regained color and became whole again and the desert sun made his crown glitter. He smiled at me and put his hands on my shoulders. Then I walked out into the desert again.

Every single one of us is unique, a beautiful gift and a flower blossoming, bearing healing wisdom and beauty inside. We all have a crown. We are born with it. It is already within us, there is no need to take anything away from someone else and pretend that their merits and achievements are our own.

There are incredible gifts within you, your heart, your mind, your spirit, your soul. Learn from others with an open mind, observe with open eyes, listen with open ears, open your heart to their ceremonies, but dare to be you. Wear your own crown with pride.

You are enough.

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A Seed of Hope and Trust

1/13/2024

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Today I was led on an incredibly beautiful journey. Sometimes spirits of nature come to visit me and we have a chat or I am allowed to assist them in something and learn about the healing gifts in the world surrounding us.

At noon, a spirit of the lakes, a beautiful blueish-white horse with water lilies growing in her mane approached me. She was not alone, but a weathermare, a thunderhorse, was accompanying her. Him I knew well and when I felt her energy, I knew she was of the lakes of the valley I call home. She had been hurt, there was fear in her, but also a tiny speck of hope, a seed of trust, waiting to come into bloom again.

I allowed her to look into my heart. While I was patiently waiting for her to take another step towards me, I sensed that she was not alone, but that she was nourishing and protecting new life. She was in foal. When our hearts connected and began singing together, healing began. Another being, that had been shrouded in dark energy, had been drinking from her milk without permission, thus taking away her own life force and that of the foal, she was carrying under her heart. That being was thrown backwards and out of her energy, when light began filling her heart again. More thunderhorses and horses of the lakes appeared and wanted to attack the dark being, but I asked them not to and to wait, because I wanted to talk to that being first and listen to its story. Our healing ceremony came to an end and she calmly kept on watching me, as I sat down in front of the dark being.

"White Horse", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

He was a spirit of the mountains and just as hurt as she had been. He told me that his family was starving and dying because their dwellings had been ravaged and destroyed, their livelihood taken by human beings, not only on the physical plane but also on the spiritual one. I recognized one of the energetic imprints on him and who it belonged to. I blessed the mountain spirit and asked the dark smoke to go away.

The spirit of the mountains was taken by complete surprise. Then I created a small mug and filled it with the energies of the waters, minerals, metals and stones found deep within Mother Earth. He was afraid of drinking from it, because he had been deceived before, so I took a sip. He saw, how the energy started healing me. Then the horse spirits stepped forward, one by one, and drank, as the mug grew bigger and bigger and transformed into a trough. One by one, they healed and showed him, that no harm was to come to him. Another thought came to my mind and I created a small bottle. I filled it with the energy and gave it to him. “Plant it in the soil of your home, just like you would plant the seed of a healing herb. It will grow into a spring, nourishing your family and heal the wounds of the mountains.”

“Please, take the seed of healing, you wanted to gift to me, and plant it into Mother Earth. It is a gift for everyone and should not be kept from the world, just because I am hurt and experience fear, when someone wants to bestow love onto me. I do not mean harm or disrespect, but there is still pain rooted deeply within me. So please, plant it into the world to be a healing gift for everyone, to experience the seasons, grow and change, mend and heal. It will find its way to me, when it is time on my path."

While he was looking at the bottle in disbelief, a spirit of the meadows appeared and asked me about an old injury of mine. She then offered me healing. The moment she offered to heal my injury, past trauma was triggered within me and I was filled with terror and moved away from her. I did not want to let her near me and I did not want to take the seed, she wanted to plant within me. It took me a while to calm down and while my body was still on high alert and ready to flee, I had another idea and began creating new energetic structures that would help the spirit of the mountains. One by one the other spirits begun adding energies and soon we were building together. Again, the spirit of the meadows, offered me the seed of healing that would mend my wounds. My fear grew even greater and past hurts flooded my mind.

Amidst the storm of emotions, I had a vision. I saw a great lake and a beautiful purple bellflower breaking through the soil on the lake shore and coming into full bloom. Then the seasons turned and it withered, just to come into bloom again, this time not alone, but other bellflowers emerging from its seeds around her and different flowers and herbs growing side by side with them.

I did not understand, but kept working together with the other spirits, until we had finished building a new home for the mountain spirit and his kin. I felt the sadness of the spirit of the meadows, who had wished to help me heal, and said to her, “Please, take the seed of healing, you wanted to gift to me, and plant it into Mother Earth. It is a gift to everyone and should not be kept from the world, just because I am hurt and experience fear, when someone wants to bestow love onto me. I do not mean harm or disrespect, but there is still pain rooted deeply within me. So please, plant it into the world to be a healing gift for everyone, to experience the seasons, grow and change, mend and heal. It will find its way to me, when it is time on my path. Until then, let it shine onto everyone and not be kept away, just because I cannot see. It does not belong to me and is not to be kept by me, in my own abyss and darkness, hidden away. It is for everyone.” The seed in the hands of the spirit of meadows turned into pure light, growing into a bellflower made of light. I felt peace filling my heart, as she planted it.

My body turned into rich soil and a seed took root. A seed that will come into bloom in its own perfect time, a seed, being nourished by patience and love.

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Winterfire

Peacock Wisdom

A New World Awaits with Open Arms

We Are One - A Water Ceremony Vision

The Weight of a Snowflake

The Weight of a Snowflake
A Traditional Story Retold

Courage

Circles

I am who I am

Journey into the Unknown

Aandeg the Crow
A Story Told by the Ojibwe

The Crown

A Seed of Hope and Trust

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Winterfire

The Weight of a SnowflakeA Traditional Story Retold

Aandeg the CrowA Story Told by the Ojibwe

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The Weight of a Snowflake
A Traditional Story Retold

Aandeg the Crow
A Story Told by the Ojibwe