The Hunt for the White Deer

The Hunt for the White Deer
by Kristin Raphaela Otti ​

A few years ago, when I was still teaching and living in Vienna, I was in the midst of a journey beyond the veils, when the energies around me completely changed. 
 
I had shapeshifted into my white deer aspect and was exploring a forest, conversing with the beings around me and enjoying the peace and quiet. All of a sudden, the shadows grew larger and the scents and smells of the forest changed. What had smelled of peace and healing before, suddenly reeked of danger and demise. I knew that a hunter was on the prowl and he had chosen me as his prey. 
 
Everything grew dark. I started to run. The chase led through the forest, up into one of the mountain regions. I knew where I was headed and I had chosen the path on purpose. I heard the impatient growling of my pursuer behind me and where I was taking a path that would not hurt any tree or bush, he was running right through them, breaking and splintering wood. I reached a cliff, that I knew well, as did I know the abyss it led to. I had been down there on a journey before. 

​I ran towards the edge of the cliff and at the last moment I made a sharp turn to the left. Since the one chasing me had been blinded by bloodthirst and chosen a form, that would allow him to simply demolish every obstacle, he was not as agile as I was and he went over the cliff. 

​I went to the edge of the cliff and looked down. There he was. A giant red lion made of fire. He was holding on to the edge of the cliff with one paw, his claws dug deeply into the stone. His glowing eyes were filled with pure hatred. I shapeshifted back into my human form, knelt down, grabbed his foot a bit under the paw and pulled him up onto the cliff and into safety. 

"White Deer", white pastels, Kristin Raphaela Otti (2023)

Gentleness is not weakness, but strength. Facing your fears and looking them straight in the eye takes more courage, than burying them deeply in the abyss, where you can hear their growling and their cries, for they want to be seen and acknowledged. Look at them and see them for what they are and for what they are not. Love them and you love yourself. Embrace them and they are darkness no more. ​

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​He lay there, breathing heavily, staring at me in complete and utter disbelief. He growled, “Why?” I replied, “I love you.” Then I shapeshifted back into my white deer aspect, looked him in the eye once more, turned around and walked slowly back into the forest. 
 
Gentleness is not weakness, but strength. Facing your fears and looking them straight in the eye takes more courage, than burying them deeply in the abyss, where you can hear their growling and their cries, for they want to be seen and acknowledged. Look at them and see them for what they are and for what they are not. Love them and you love yourself. Embrace them and they are darkness no more.